As the Spirit Moves Me
by Pam Burns-Clair

All Roads Lead to Home

December 8, 2005

My sister who did not grow up with me, who was raised by her adoptive parents and whom I've known now for 19 years came out from TX to see Haley this weekend as Dorothy in Wizard of Oz.  My sister is a singer--mostly a soloist in her church and the church organ/piano player--so she is interested in Haley's performing arts passion.  She is also a TX Bible Belt Christian and conservative, where our family is quite CA liberal.  I took the girls to a liberal Methodist church when they were young, but I prefer meditation to organized religion.  So I play my cards carefully with this newfound sister so as not to offend her or get into divisive topics of politics or religion.  Aren't the holidays like that--we are sometimes together with family and friends who are different than us, challenged to focus on the commonalities?  

She thoroughly enjoyed seeing Wizard of Oz not once but twice with me, and it was great fun to see Beach Blanket Babylon in SF--as I would look over at her profile from the side during the show she reminded me of my grandmother's same belly laugh.  Even though she whispered during the show, "Who is Gavin Newsome and what's he about?"  and I whispered back, "The mayor of SF who's a proponent of gay marriage," and they poked fun at Bush, Cheney and Condi "Rice-a-Roni", she loved it.  Whew!  

Given the significance of the season, she asked if we could go to church on Sun.  This was a stretch for me and I was a little nervous about what it might evoke--I didn't want to get into heated discussions with her--but we settled on a service at the local Methodist church nearby that was a convenient time.  I got a little nervous when the prayers offered up by the congregation included a gay pastor being ostracized by his church in another town...Stan "Tookie" Williams, that Gov. Schwarzzeneger grant him clemency...wondering if these would trigger my sister.  But then the pastor began her sermon with a story about a couple who adopted a baby--although they felt they were prepared and ready, how unprepared and flustered they were when they got the call that a baby was ready to be picked up the following day...how amazing it was for them to hold her and take her home for the first time.  Both my sister and I had to wipe a tear and squeeze each other's hands during this story, and I knew we had been guided to choose this service.  Thankfully, I remembered many of the hymns which she could sing blindfolded.  She thanked me for going to church with her as we walked to the car.  

She grew up in Denver, I grew up in L.A., both as only children wishing we had a sister, but as we sat together watching Haley perform as Dorothy, as well as at Beach Blanket and at church, I felt the echo of Haley's line at the end of the play taking hold: "...if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard.  Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with!  Is that right?"  I think my sister and I have found our way back to Kansas.  

May we all follow our hearts and find our way back home through the holidays~