Inching my way from Katrina to the Holidays

As the Spirit Moves Me
by Pam Burns-Clair

November 16, 2005

The political tensions were already distressing before Katrina brought it all to the surface and drowned any illusions that we were a country of good will and abundance. At the time, I remember wondering how all those children affected would face Halloween without costumes and with their neighborhoods where they once trick or treated annihilated... how they would face Thanksgiving originally intended to celebrate abundance and the breaking of bread between have's (Indians already established on the land) and have nots (the pilgrims as new arrivals)...how they would face Christmas after their lives had been so disrupted and their families' livelihoods wiped out in so many cases. It was too depressing--I sent out an email to some of my people with whom we exchange gifts requesting that this year my Christmas request was a donation to Habitat for Humanity in honor of Katrina victims. My sister in Austin asked that I remind her again--at the time they were bracing for Rita to come through their area and wreak havoc--"We might NEED Habitat for Humanity at that point!" Fortunately, Austin was spared, but many lost their homes and have since to other hurricanes and disasters--not to mention the millions in Pakistan facing the winter homeless. My donations feel so drop in the bucket.

Meanwhile the holidays are ticking along--around Halloween, I realized I had to deal with inviting my mom to come up for her annual visit with us for Christmas and help her book her flight (before they were all snatched up), and even though she loves our making a donation to charity in her honor, I still need to wrap some things for her (what I really wish for her I can't wrap--a staff to help her sort through her rubble in her 4,000 square foot home in Santa Barbara and move her to the retirement home whose waiting list she's been on for years)...and she has a thing about buying gifts that can be wrapped under the tree for the kids--keep in mind they're hard-to-shop-for 15 and 20--which does NOT include gift cards or checks if she can help it! (That wrecks the surprise and she finds it offensive to her gift-giving sense of etiquette. Last year she surprised us with a box the size of furniture shipped to us before Thanksgiving to wait "under the tree". When we finally opened it, we found "collectors items" that went with an expensive dinner inside the Haunted House at Disneyland that she was a keynote speaker for, having helped design the Haunted House in the prime of her career with Disney. We auctioned them on EBay to a grateful Disney collector.) Then there is the dilemma of how to entertain her during the visit and keep the kids interested and involved. It was much easier and more exciting when the kids were young and loved Disney and dolls. It all felt overwhelming and unappealing a month ago.

But now with Thanksgiving a week away...I've turned the corner. My college daughter Chelsea comes home in less than a week--she can hardly wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas to be home and get a break--can't beat that...she and Haley are keeping their lists relatively modest, gift cards of whatever amount we choose and a few movies or CD's will do...both of them recognizing they have big ambitions in the coming year--Chelsea to study abroad and Haley to apply for another theater arts summer program in either L.A. or N.Y. My sister is on the same wavelength with the Habitat donation idea and in fact is coming out from TX the weekend after Thanksgiving to see Haley perform as Dorothy in Wizard of Oz--that's a gift in itself. I've decided to present my mom with a version of "The 12 Days of Christmas" including a traditional tea in Benicia with the girls and me on Christmas eve and a visit to the De Jung after Christmas. Nothing that will further clutter her house. My mom has been pestering me for catalog ideas for something to wrap for the girls and others--her eyesight is very limited and she can't drive to shop to local shopping any more. Initially I just wasn't up to going there, but I managed to help her out by buying Haley something she picked out herself which will be from my mom, relieved not to have to catalog order something, wrapped under the tree as a "surprise", and I also found a book my mom wanted to give a friend on Amazon, had it gift wrapped and shipped to her.

I've found yet another charitable way to bridge the shopping dilemma-- http://www.womenforwomen.org/bazaar.htm These are beautiful handmade crafts from the non-profit Women for Women that Oprah has been instrumental in promoting made by women from wartorn or oppressed countries that can be purchased and shipped as gifts. It's a win-win! Check it out!

May we all inch our way towards holidays that offer the spirit of Light and Hope and Generosity and Abundance for all, finding our way over our own personal speed bumps and holiday challenges with family and friends. I offer this up during this powerful full moon, as PJ has made us all aware!