As the Spirit Moves Me
by Pam Burns-Clair

Lost and Found

November 2005

I was fortunate to be offered a ticket to attend the annual gala fundraising dinner 10/15 for Sonoma's Willmar Center for Bereaved Children where my daughter Haley sang a duet of The Prayer with her friend Ariana.  It was a most uplifting evening in many ways, as I'm sure those who attended would also testify.  But in addition to watching Haley and Ariana capture the crowd's hearts with their song, I was especially touched to be in the presence of William Randolph Hearst III.  Even before I realized who he was, I was struck by his commanding white-haired presence--he seemed 8 feet tall on stage as he presented a teddy bear to 2 young siblings who had lost their mom.  He was apparently no stranger to them, even though I hear he's not local to Sonoma--the young boy told him he was really cool or some such endearing remark, and throughout the evening it was apparent he has made a major contribution to this fledgling, growing organization.  He commented early on that he had lost his dad when he was 15--that would be the son of William Randolph Hearst Sr.--as in Hearst Castle, Hearst Publication empire etc.--and it's important to have people to see you through such a loss.  As the live auction took place between courses, he upped the bid on the quilt that the Willmar children had made with the help of quilting volunteers, from about $800 to $5000.  The crowd cheered, touched by his conviction to embrace the meaning such a piece and support the organization so significantly.  No one could top that offer. 

Towards the end of the evening, Nina Gorbach, executive director of Willmar, presented Mr. Hearst with an award of appreciation and honor for his outstanding contribution, and I was especially touched by her remarks at how he had coached her: "Don't let your vision come down to your reality--bring your reality up to your vision."  Many of us came to attention with this concept, nodding approval at one another.  It is clear this is happening at Willmar by the size and enthusiasm of the crowd and the presentations, and this is a take home message that many of us can apply in our own contexts.

Wow, I thought--this surely sizes up his grandfather's philosophy in a nutshell.  William Randolph Hearst senior was a visionary extraordinaire.  Nothing stopped him.  Having taken several tours of Hearst Castle, I know some about this man's history.  Apparently, as I do a little research on the survivors of Hearst senior, this William Hearst was too young to know his grandfather before he died in 1951-- at which point this William III about 2 years old, but clearly the spirit of William senior's legacy lives on in this message, despite the fact that William II only had 15 years to pass it along to his son.  This William, upon receiving his award, mentioned that although he has a "fancy name," the journey has been arduous and he's just now "coming around" to his own healing or truth.  He commended Willmar for what they are doing to give kids with such losses as he experienced a place to come and people who will listen.  

I walked away filled up by the event and touched that such a 'big guy' as William Randolph Hearst III from San Francisco (where I understand he resides) would find it in him to reach out to a small fledgling non-profit in the little town of Sonoma and make a difference in a few young lives.  All any of us really need is to know that we matter, to feel we belong, to have a safety net of support in the face of darkness.  Sometimes we get that as we're growing up by the right people showing up for us when we need them, and sometimes we get that as adults by showing up for others when they need a friend.